


What is This Feeling?

by deamrose10



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 23:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9146176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deamrose10/pseuds/deamrose10
Summary: another Wicked tribute! (umi/maki smut)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Love Live and Wicked not mine

'Moan.'

"Keep it down. Do you want someone to hear us?"

"W-well, you're not g-giving me much of a c-choice. Aahh!"

"Shit, you're so tight. And so wet. You missed me this much?"

"Oh God, yes! Y-you were so distant this past month, I t-thought I did something w-wrong."

"Hmph. Didn't seem like it, with that blonde bimbo always attached to you."

"H-hey! Don't be mean to Eli. S-she's my f-friend. Aahh, Maki!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dear Mother and Father,

-Dearest Mama and Papa,

I have arrived here at the college dormitory safely.

-Thank you for letting me borrow the driver to help me settle in.

The campus is spectacular, and the room is sufficient enough for my needs.

-The suite's a bit tacky, but it'll do.

Although there seems to be some confusion regarding the room assignments.

-Although there seems to be some confusion regarding the room assignments.

Of course, I won't let it hinder me from my studies.

-Of course, I won't let it keep me from excelling here.

For I know that's what you'll expect from me.

-For I know you'll expect nothing less.

There's been some confusion, for you see my roommate is…

-There's been some confusion, for you see my roommate is…

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Umi!"

"Eli! Good morning!"

"Good morning! Where'd you go last Friday? You disappeared so suddenly, we were worried." I smiled apologetically at my friend.

"I'm sorry. Something came up, and I needed to attend to it. I hope I didn't cause too much trouble for the study group." Eli just waved her hand dismissively as we made our way towards our lockers.

"Of course not. It's not like you ditch us all the time. Some of them were disappointed, though, because their favorite tutor just up and left them." I just rolled my eyes at Eli.

"Oh, stop it. You're more than enough to handle them. I don't even know why you insist I help out, anyway. I mean, we're all freshmen."

"The kids wanted help with their studies. You and I just so happened to be at the top three of most of our shared classes. What's wrong with that?" I just raised an eyebrow at my companion.

"Uh, maybe because they're from different courses and some of them are even topnotch students and can even tutor other people themselves? I dunno, just a thought." I said sarcastically as Eli laughed at me, and I just smiled at her as I opened my locker and arranged my things for the day.

"Look! It's Sonoda-san and Ayase-san!"

"Aren't they just perfect?"

"They're so cool!"

"I wish I could be like them."

"Ne, ne, look. Here comes Nishikino-san."

"Hmph. She may be pretty, but she sure has a sour personality."

"She's so spoiled. Thinks she's better than the rest of us."

"Well, she is one of the top three in her class alongside Sonoda-san and Ayase-san. And she's loaded."

"Their personalities are so different."

I took a peak to my right at the person who just arrived, standing five lockers down from mine. Sure enough, Nishikino Maki was there. Striking, with bright red hair and amethyst eyes, not to mention smart to boot. I tried to be discreet, but she turned her head and caught my stare, and I quickly looked away, blushing.

"We're already nearing the end of the school year and everybody still talks about us like we're art exhibits. But I bet Nishikino-san has it worse. For someone who came from a rich and powerful family, she's not much of a socialite, isn't she? Never thought you'd be unfortunate enough to have her as a roommate. At least she seems to settle down compared to before."

"I don't think she really cares all that much about what other people say. And as I told you countless times already, there's only one penthouse suite available in the dormitory tower, and our parents just so happened to book it at the same time, hence our current rooming situation. And we don't do much talking when inside the room, anyway. We're, uh, well aware of each other's personal boundaries, you could say." Eli looked at me curiously but just shrugged her shoulders. I closed my locker and turned around just in time for Maki to pass me by, and I blushed again as she subtly smirked at me before heading off to class.

"Are you sick? You're a bit flushed."

"Huh? Oh, no, it's nothing. I guess I'm just a bit sleepy. It's been a tiring weekend. Let's go or we'll be late."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is this feeling, so sudden and new?

I had felt it the moment I laid my eyes on you.

My pulse is rushing,

My head is reeling,

My face is flushing,

Oh, what is this feeling?

It's as fervid as a flame, but does it have a name?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Honoka! Kotori!"

"Umi-chan! I'm so happy to see you! It's been ages!" I chuckled as my ginger-haired childhood friend gave me a hug. I then hugged Kotori after Honoka finally let me go. We sat down near the window of a quaint little coffee shop, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.

It'd been three months since the last time we saw each other, having to attend different colleges. All three of us grew up in the same residential area and had gone to the same school up until senior high. Due to our busy schedules and different timetables, it made it difficult for us to get together often, but we made it a point to keep in touch as much as possible.

"So, Umi-chan. How's it going with your favorite roomie?" I sighed and rolled my eyes. Nishikino Maki's a bit of a celebrity, but not in a good way. Yes, she's stunning. Yes, she's rich. And yes, she's gifted. But what made her infamous among our peers was her terrible personality. She's a diva in every sense of the word, and lots of people kept on trying to console me for being unfortunate enough because she's my roommate.

It was very easy to hate her, obviously. She threw a fit when she found out she didn't get the suite all to herself. I didn't mind sharing, but she was being bitchy about it, so right then and there I decided that I didn't like her. We never fought out loud because I was never one for hostilities, but the tension around us was so thick it could be cut with a knife. It got worse when I made friends and invited them over to the suite, but was eventually chased out by my dazzling roommate that no one dared to come over again.

I ranted about my first few months to my childhood friends; how I couldn't stand Maki, how, just seeing her, made me want to shoot her with my arrow, and that's on a good day. Naturally, my so-called friends just laughed at my expense, and said that my time spent with Maki was good for me, since this was a side of me they never saw often. For them, it's refreshing, in a way. For me, I just found it embarrassing and insulting.

"I'm doing well, thanks for asking, Honoka," I said sarcastically as I took a sip of my latte. The two just laughed.

"Don't pout, Umi-chan. We're just curious. You haven't talked about her for a while now, we were worried that you might've buried her alive somewhere already."

"Are you, two, finally getting along?" I placed my cup down and looked out the window, contemplating on my answer.

"We're okay. Civil. She's not the kind of person I'd trust with my life, but, I guess, at some point, we came to some kind of understanding on how we deal with each other. It's not even close to a real friendship, but if it allows me to keep co-inhabiting with her without too much drama, even until the end of the school year, then that's good enough for me."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loathing. Unadulterated loathing.

For your face, your voice, your clothing, I loathe it all!

Every little trait makes my flesh crawl, no matter how small.

There's a strange exhilaration in feeling this much detestation,

So pure and so strong.

It came on fast, but I feel it'll last.

I will be loathing you my whole life long.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt my back hit the wall just as I entered the abandoned alley, hot lips on my neck, roaming hands going under my shirt. I giggled and just stood there, relishing in the sensations only the person in front of me could evoke.

"I hate you. You kept me waiting too long." I smiled as I wrapped my arms around my lover's neck and pulled her in for a deep kiss as a form of apology. Our breaths intermingled with each other, hearts racing as our tongues fought each other for dominance, our lips bruising.

We kept at it for as long as we could, inhaling each other, then slowly pulled away when breathing became a necessity, both of us panting. I stared at the amethyst eyes I became all too familiar with, and smiled again as I took in my partner's flushed face and swollen lips.

"You know that I'm very impatient, right? Because of that, you need to be severely punished." I moaned as she latched onto my neck again, nipping and licking, and I was glad the weather's been cold lately, and wearing scarves wouldn't stand out too much because I'm sure I'd be marked all over.

"Oh, Maki!" I panted as she ground her crotch on my thighs, her hands lifting my skirt up and grabbing my ass, pulling me closer. I could feel Maki's enthusiasm escalate, and I couldn't deny that I was feeling just as excited as well, if not more. With finals week approaching fast, we rarely got to see each other aside from some of the classes that we shared. Tonight was just one of the very few instances that our schedules coincided, and I'd be damned if we didn't make use of it wisely, no matter the place.

I grabbed onto her shoulders as I felt her hands caress me through my underwear, and I gasped loudly as she played with my bundle of nerves, encircling it with her finger, taunting it with her nail.

"Maki, Maki…" I chanted her name as she continued to tease me, my underwear adding friction to my already sensitive nub. A finger slipped past the material and barely poked my entrance before plunging in, and I elicited a deep moan that made me tremble. It's been too long since I felt this high, and I didn't think I'd last that much longer.

Another moan escaped me as a second finger joined the first, deftly stretching my insides, my hips bucking hard into Maki's hand. I gripped her harder, and, if not for her mouth on mine, I would have screamed bloody murder when she added a third finger inside me, pumping hard, in and out, and the release that followed was simply mind numbing that my knees buckled and all I could see were spots.

Maki continued to pound into me, and I could feel another orgasm build up, my grip on my partner's shoulders so tight, my nails digging on her flawless skin as I kept myself from falling down. And as I finally reached my peak and came crashing down, the sound I let out was so loud I wouldn't be surprised if there were people rushing to the street soon to see what's going on.

Maki eased her fingers out from me as I tried to catch my breath, and I felt her smirk against my neck. My face was flushed, my whole body trembling from how intense I climaxed, and I suddenly became redder as the thought of other people having heard what transpired here came to mind, disregarding the fact that we did it in such an open space in the first place. I tried my best to glare at Maki as she purposely stared at me while licking her come-coated fingers.

"You're so shameless. What part of this being hush-hush did you not understand?" She just rolled her eyes at me, and I moaned again as she cupped me harshly.

"Don't blame me. I wasn't the one who screamed," she whispered, and all I could do at that moment was grit my teeth and kept myself from shouting as her skillful fingers played me again.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sonoda-san, you are just too kind.

How do you stand her? We don't think we ever could.

She's a terror, she's insufferable.

We don't mean to be biased,

But Sonoda-san, you're truly a martyr.

Poor Sonoda-san, you're forced to reside,

With someone so cocksure and unbearable.

We just want to tell you that we're all on your side.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Seriously, the utility closet? What are we, junior high?"

"Don't be choosey. I want you and it just so happens that you owe me. Badly. Now shut up and kiss me." I sighed and stared at her for a minute as she sat down on an old table, before leaning down and kissing her, her lips ever so plump and inviting as always. I was still a bit hesitant, and she probably noticed it, too, because she snaked her arms around my neck and wrapped her long legs around my waist and pulled me closer. I had no choice but to acquiesce, her vice-like grip doing wonders for my own arousal.

I gripped her waist tightly and deepened the kiss as she moaned into my mouth. I moved down and started kissing her neck, and she leaned back to allow me better access. I continued kissing her skin down to her collarbone as she took off her blazer, leaving her in her sparkly gold tube dress. 'Always the eye catcher,' I smirked as I pulled her top down to reveal her heaving chest, and I deftly removed her strapless bra and freed her magnificent breasts, and I couldn't help but admire them for several seconds before placing a pink nipple inside my mouth.

Maki started to moan loudly as I continued my ministrations, and I subconsciously wondered if anyone would hear us. It's already seven o'clock in the evening, and I was positive the last class of the day had already ended, but there might still be some people wandering the halls for who-knows-why that might pass by this particular corridor.

All inhibitions flew out the window as Maki cupped my face and harshly brought my lips to hers again, and I chuckled as I felt her annoyance radiate through the kiss.

"Stop pussyfooting and finish me off!" she hissed and I just grinned at her and kissed her palm as I massaged her inner thighs.

"Demanding as always," I murmured and eased down her body, kissing her flushed skin all the way. I could hear her breath hitch as I knelt in front of her and spread her thighs apart as wide as I felt like it so that I could get better access to her moist center. She had the audacity to not wear any underwear today, and I wondered if she was planning on cornering me like this the whole day.

"You're practically leaking!" I said, amazed at how wet she already was.

"Your fault. I got thoroughly distracted the entire afternoon thinking of how hot you looked in your barely-there track suit during PE, hence our current situation. Oh my God!" Maki let out a very husky moan as I caressed her wet folds and pried them open, revealing her pulsing nub. I felt her tremble as I blew on her, and it left me with a sense of pride as Maki bucked hard and gasped when I ran a finger ever so slowly around her clit, teasing the tip with a clicking motion.

She leaned back with her hands grasping the edges of the table as she offered herself to me, her essence mine for the taking. I nimbly ran my tongue on her bundle in place of my finger as I had to keep her thighs pinned down, and I savored every drop I could get, and she hadn't even orgasmed yet.

I continued to eat her up, her juices trailing down my chin, her voice getting louder and louder until she was forced to bite her lip so hard she drew blood, just to keep herself from screaming. Her knuckles were bone white as she gripped the table, her breathing so erratic that I thought she might faint if she didn't come soon.

With a few more lashes from my tongue, up and down, side to side, I finally felt her body convulse as she finally reached her limit and succumbed to sheer pleasure.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming… Fuck, Umi!" She screamed, and I was ready to receive every bit of her nectar as it shot from her opening in plentiful amounts, my head swimming, intoxicated by my lover's taste, smell, sound, and sight, the feeling of her flushed skin something I could never get tired of.

Maki collapsed on the table, panting hard, as I lapped up every bit of love juice she released. When her breathing evened out, I made my way up, peppering her with soft kisses, from her navel to her chest to her neck, until I reached her lips.

"How's that for payback?" I asked smugly, and she just grinned at me and tugged on my hair, contentment showing all over her face.

"Not bad at all. I need to step up my game in the future or else I'll get left behind." I chuckled as she brought her hand up and caressed my face. Then, for a brief moment, I saw something in her eyes that wasn't there before. I blinked, unsure if what I saw was real, but when I stared at her again, she had closed her eyes, her lips in a tight line.

"Maki?"

"Pull me up," she said in a clipped tone and wrapped her arms around my neck as I helped her sit up. She was quiet as she fixed her dress then put her blazer back on. She remained silent as she stood up on shaky legs then checked her appearance on an old mirror. I just stared at her move about, not saying anything, as I tried to make sense of why she was acting detached all of a sudden with only the two of us inside the small room.

She paused and sighed, her hand gripping the doorknob, and she pinched the bridge of her nose before turning around to face me. I stared at her, trying to read her eyes, but she was guarded, something she had not been ever since we slowly started to open up to each other a few months ago.

"I, uh, I guess I'll see you back at the unit, then," she said uneasily, which was so unlike her, and I realized that it really didn't suit her to be so timid. I tried to reach out but she quickly backed away, opened the door, and left. I stood there, dumbfounded, and I just wanted to scream out in frustration because I didn't know how trying it would be to live with such an infuriating woman!

I sighed heavily and just stayed there for a while to try and calm myself. I concentrated on the feeling of Maki's lips on mine, the way she felt under me, the way she looked at me. I tried to remember that fleeting emotion I saw in her eyes.

'What was that? It vaguely looked like adoration or something similar, but it couldn't be, could it?' I shook my head and scoffed as I grabbed my bag. 'What am I thinking? This is Maki. Whatever this is that we have is just some sort of pastime for her. She can't possibly feel anything for me. And I can't possibly feel anything for her, right?' My heart suddenly ached at that and I frowned.

"What is this I'm feeling?"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loathing. Unadulterated loathing.

-What is this feeling, so sudden and new?

For your face, your voice, your clothing, I loathe it all!

-I had felt it the moment I laid my eyes on you.

Every little trait makes my flesh crawl, no matter how small.

-My pulse is rushing,

There's a strange exhilaration in feeling this much detestation,

-My head is reeling,

So pure and so strong.

-My face is flushing,

It came on fast, but I feel it'll last.

-Oh, what is this feeling?

I will be loathing you my whole life long.

-It's as fervid as a flame, but does it have a name?

Yes, that's it, loathing!

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello?"

"Umi! Thank goodness you answered! Can you please do me a small favor?"

"Uh, sure, I guess. What is it, Eli?"

"You don't have classes for another hour, right? Can you get Kinomoto-san's notes from my locker and deliver it to her down by the medical building? My next class is starting in a few minutes and the poor girl texted me that she needs it now. You know my combination. It's the red binder. Crap, I gotta go. Please and thank you! *click*"

I just stared at my phone for a minute or two, recalled my one-sided conversation with Eli, then sighed. Well, it's not like I was doing anything productive, anyway, since my mind's preoccupied with a certain redheaded crazy lady. I packed my books then headed for Eli's locker to retrieve the notes and get this errand over with.

I hurried over to the medical building as fast as the school policy allowed since it's in the opposite side of the campus, and I remembered that Kinomoto-san, a girl from my study group, needed it ASAP. I stopped abruptly as soon as I arrived at the lobby of the building then slapped my forehead for not even asking Eli what room Kinomoto-san was in. I tried calling my friend again, but since she had class, I couldn't contact her.

I sighed heavily as I continued on my way, asking people for directions. Fifteen minutes had already passed, and I was getting a bit antsy since I wasn't even close to locating my destination. I sat down for a bit and took my phone out to try and call Eli again.

"Chemistry Lab, third floor." I jumped a bit and whirled around at the unsuspected voice, and lo and behold, Maki was there, leaning on the wall while twirling her hair and fiddling with her phone. She looked at me then smirked at my gaping face. I closed my mouth and stood up as she walked towards me.

"The person you're looking for. Her class is after mine so I know. What do you want with her?" I looked at her cautiously before answering.

"I need to give her something important. I'm in a hurry, so if you'd be so kind as to direct me there, I'll be on my way." She frowned a bit and just stared at me before smirking again.

"I'm actually on my way up. I'll take you there myself."

"Huh? Oh, no, it's alright. You don't have to…" Maki just ignored me then went on ahead, silently telling me to follow her. I just sighed exasperatedly but went after her nonetheless. I kept a respectable distance between the two of us as I followed behind her up the stairs. I stared at her back, and it just came to me that I really hadn't talked to her for a while now. Even if we're living in the same unit, this was the first time I actually got to see her up close since our last encounter three weeks ago. I shook out of my stupor as I realized my companion was talking to me.

"I'm sorry, what?" She rolled her eyes at me.

"I said that it isn't like you to seek people out, especially since she's not from the same building, let alone the same department. What gives?"

"Uh, nothing. I just have something that she needs, that's all," I answered vaguely, and I could sense that Maki wasn't satisfied with my answer, but decided not to push since we're in a public place. I decided to try and make small talk until we got to the lab.

"So, what have you been up to the past weeks? Haven't seen you much lately." She just crossed her arms and stayed quiet, and I followed her example and just shut my mouth, hiding my disappointment. 'What did I expect? We never did have a real conversation before out in the open like this.'

We finally arrived at the third floor landing, and before she could tell me where to go, I whizzed past her towards the girl waiting impatiently down the corridor.

"Kinomoto-san!" Said girl snapped her head up and smiled brightly at me, relieved, as I handed the binder to her.

"Thank you so, so much, Sonoda-san! You're the best!" I was surprised when she suddenly jumped and hugged me tightly, added a bit of nuzzling much to my chagrin, before letting go and going back to class. Unbeknownst to me, though, a certain redhead had watched the whole thing, her fists clenched, her eyes narrowed.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is this feeling?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey," I greeted as I entered the sitting area where I found Maki staring out the window, a wine glass in hand. The place was dark save for the lights from the city that casted a warm glow inside the room, and I couldn't help but stare at how ethereal my roommate looked at that moment, dressed in nothing but an oversized shirt that ended just below her derriere.

"Beautiful," I whispered, and I saw Maki smirk at me through her reflection, then turned around to face me, mirth in her eyes. She downed the rest of her drink then placed the glass on top of the coffee table, not once breaking eye contact with me. She walked up to me slowly, and I welcomed her with open arms, her hands caressing my neck before pulling me in.

It was different, this kiss. It was still as sensual as before, but it was tinged with a sweetness that I couldn't exactly describe that had nothing to do with the wine she just consumed, but I liked it just the same. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in tighter, and that was when I realized that something seemed out of place, something that I couldn't exactly put my finger on but I knew it was there. I gave her one final peck before gently pushing her away, just enough to stare at her face properly.

"What is it?" She blinked as she tried to focus on me, and I couldn't help the anxiety bubble up as I watched her dazed eyes clear up and flashed different kinds of emotions at the same time, majority of them I couldn't comprehend.

"Umi, I…" She started then shook her head, grabbed my hand, then led me inside our room. She pushed me down on her bed then crawled on top of me, grabbing the bottom of my dress and lifting it over my head in the process. I laid there clad only in lacey black underwear as she straddled me, and I felt self-conscious all of a sudden, her eyes roaming up and down my body appreciatively. I tried to cover my modesty, but Maki just took my hands and pinned them above my head.

"You're perfect, Umi. Never hide yourself from me." There was something hidden beneath her words, but before I could dig deeper into it, all rational thought flew out of my mind as her lips touched mine again with such intensity I could've cried from its ferocity.

Maki kissed me like there's no tomorrow, over and over again, my lungs struggling hard to keep up from the lack of air. She bit on my lips and sucked on my tongue so viciously that I would have come right then and there if she hadn't backed away abruptly and left me groaning in displeasure.

She was staring again, but my mind was too out of it to even try and understand the meaning behind her intense gazes. I reached out and cupped her face in my hands gently, and I realized that, as of the moment, nothing could beat the feeling of having this testy, sly, avaricious woman all to myself, that she's here with me and I with her, no one else, and the thought made my heart swell up.

"Maki, please…" I whispered, and brought her down as I caressed her face, "…make love to me."

Clearly I wasn't thinking straight when I said that, for I didn't notice Maki's eyes widening, her posture stiffening. My need for her was getting to be too much, so I reached up and claimed her lips, and soon she relaxed and started to take control of the situation again.

She was gentle this time, a stark contrast from her earlier actions, but I wasn't complaining. My skin tingled as her warm hands slowly and carefully touched my body, followed closely by her warm mouth. She freed my breasts from their binding and paid them the same amount of attention, her lips ghosting over my hardened nipples, and I couldn't stop the husky moan that escaped me as she teased them gently with her tongue.

I was getting restless, but I wanted to enjoy this kind of attention from my usually feisty lover for as long as I could. Her hands and her mouth travelled south, and she eased my underwear down my legs before positioning her body between my thighs, and I moaned in delight as her weight on my crotch sent wonderful sensations up my spine.

She caressed my hips as she nuzzled me just above my mound, teasing me without even touching me where I want it the most. But as her mouth finally made contact with my clit, I almost cried out in pleasure.

Maki took her time, like I was some sort of decadent meal as she savored my taste before eating me. My voice was getting louder by the second, my skin tinted in sweat, as I rocked myself under her mouth and matched my rhythm with hers. She must have noticed that I was getting agitated, my hand pushing her head down, wordlessly telling her to go faster, and I felt her smile against me before picking up the pace.

She sucked me hard like a ripe piece of fruit this time, and I howled in ecstasy, my nerves already on high alert from all the foreplay I endured. I was positive I wouldn't last long, and, when release finally came with a final flick of her tongue, my lungs burned, my throat parched, my whole being on fire as I shamelessly screamed my pleasure for the world to hear, consequences be damned.

Maki cleaned me up as I fought to breathe, then slowly eased herself up on top of me, her familiar weight calming me down. I shakily wrapped my arms around her, her head on the crook of my neck, her hand stroking the underside of my breast. I haven't felt this content since, well, ever, and at the back of my mind, I knew that something changed between us. I didn't ponder on it yet, though, because I still had a redhead to satisfy.

I started to gently massage her, my hands roaming up her back and down to her backside, her skin tingling from my touch. Maki started to grind herself on me, and I positioned her thighs so she could straddle me properly as I continued to feel her up. I could sense her arousal, her wetness starting to seep onto my groin, and I quickly turned us around, Maki flaying about under me as my hand cupped her mound.

I watched her as she succumbed to the sensations I induced as she bit her bottom lip hard, her eyes glazed over, her hands gripping my shoulders as I fondled her folds.

"More. More, Umi. Please," she suddenly pleaded. She never pleaded, and it left me baffled, but who was I to deny her? With newfound resolve, my finger found her nub and played with it, gently at first then I started to get rougher. She was bucking into my hand hard now, and arched herself off the bed when I suddenly entered two fingers inside her at once.

I alternated between going slow and pumping fast, her face morphing into a frenzy of emotions that I found simply captivating. She was panting heavily now, eyes shut tight, nails starting to dig into my skin. She screamed and thrashed when I added another finger, then another, as I started thrusting into her viciously, nothing on my mind except for making her come. She was pulling me in at the same time trying to push me off, writhing wildly, her cries of pure ecstasy music to my ears. And as she finally reached her peak, I was sure I'd gone deaf with how loud she hollered.

She went limp under me, gasping for breath, and I peppered her with soft pecks on her chest up to her face before getting off her so she could take in air more easily. What I did was bold for someone like me, and I should've been appalled at myself, but watching Maki come undone like that was worth it, and I couldn't help the proud grin I was wearing as I laid on my side, head propped up, and gazed at her.

It took her several minutes before she was finally calm enough to look at me, and I gave her a soft smile as I ran my thumb over her cheeks then over her lips, earning a smile from my lover.

"You never fail to amaze me, you know that?" she murmured. I chuckled as I helped her turn herself on her side so that we're facing each other. We just stared at each for I don't know how long, little touches and small kisses here and there, knowing that we needed to talk. I was surprised when she suddenly snuggled up to me.

"What are we doing?" she asked me carefully. It's a question that I should be asking her since she was the one who started this whole farce of a relationship, for lack of a better term.

"I don't know. You tell me," I hit back. She sighed onto my neck, her breath giving me goosebumps.

"I want you to do something for me." She lifted her head up slightly and looked at me.

"Anything," I answered automatically, and I realized that I'd do anything for this fox of a lady.

"Be mine." Maybe she had too much to drink, or my mind still hadn't returned from the clouds, but I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly.

"I'm sorry, I don't under – "

"I don't want you looking at anyone else. I don't want you to be with anyone else. I want you to want only me." I wanted to scoff at the absurdity she was saying, but with her expression adamant, her eyes steadfast, I knew she wasn't pulling my leg. I slowly sat myself up, bringing Maki with me, her gaze still unwavering.

"You can't be serious, Maki! This thing, whatever this is between us, it will never work!" I could tell she was hurt, my own chest tightening at what I said. In a swift move she was above me again, her eyes burning with a passion I had never seen before.

"Why? Because it's me? Because I'm not good enough? Yes, I know I'm a bitch, but this is difficult for me, too!" Her face softened, and I was taken aback at the vulnerability in her eyes.

"I don't even know what I'm doing right now. This was supposed to be just for fun, but when I see you talking to someone else, enjoying their company, I get so agitated that I'm frustrated with myself! And I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. You're beautiful and intelligent, and I hated you at first because I never thought I'd meet someone at par with me, even better. But now, all I know is that I want you all to myself." There were tears in her amethyst orbs, and I couldn't stop the urge to wipe them off because they didn't suit her lovely face.

Her honesty was a bit shocking, to say the least. This must've been difficult for her, knowing how reserved she was. She sighed into my hand as I caressed her face, my heart melting at her declaration. I admit that I had been feeling something different for a while now whenever my mind drifted to my redheaded roommate, I just didn't know what that was.

I allowed myself to gaze lovingly at this woman, and I guess she felt how tender I was with her, because the smile she gave me was akin to affection.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling right now, Maki. You can say that I care about you, but I'm sure you know very well that our situation's a bit difficult. I don't know what I want to do. Being with you has been a challenge, but if I'm to be very honest with myself, I enjoyed every minute of it. We can't jump straight into something that we're neither sure nor ready for. But if you're willing to bet yourself on me, then I guess I need to have my head checked because I can't really see myself now without you in my life."

The kiss I received was so heartfelt I couldn't help but cry. I hugged her soft body to mine, and I could feel her relief radiating off of her in waves. I said before that what we had right now was nothing close to a real friendship. We're actually way past that, but we understand that we needed to work on what we do have now and try to make it favorable for us. We knew that it wouldn't be an easy road, this decision we took. People might meddle, criticize, and even condemn us, but what's life without risks? We'd cross bridges when we get there, but for now, all that matters is the here and the now.

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I love you.

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**Author's Note:**

> A/N: first story for the year! happy new year, everyone! Cheers! ^_^


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